Friday, November 7, 2014


-NBA players play too many games and “Wear and tear” takes a serious toll over time.

-Players are too athletic now, with conditioning and supplements and that explosiveness takes a toll on their ligaments, which don’t get stronger with those types of things.

-Players are running bad, with too much or too little heel strike.

-There is a problem with their shoes, because they don’t wear the right brand of shoes. Their shoes are either too heavy or not heavy enough. If they would just wear Welding Boots or Tom’s, everything would be fine.

-A player is too tall.

-A player’s feet are too small, or too big, or their arches aren’t right.

-A team’s training staff is incompetent.

-A team’s training staff is malevolent and doing little things to encourage injuries as a way of making themselves feel better. Trainers and sports doctors are basically all type-a ex-athletes who boil over with rage about their failures, so they microssagress joints and muscles so they will eventually break down.

-Everyone is taking steroids and HGH, which make your bones brittle and your ligaments into tissue paper.

-NO ONE is taking steroids or HGH, and they should, because they make your body strong like concrete and help you recover from injuries faster. There are all kinds of science papers about it.

-Players are doing the wrong kinds of exercise, including: knuckle pushups, WiiFit, bull riding, mountain climbing, skeet shooting, rollerblading, breaking off the lid of a cooler and using it to streetski behind a car in traffic, and juggling.

-They’re faking injuries so they can spend time on literary pursuits.

-There are too many people in the arenas, and the vibrations from all of their heartbeats penetrate players’ bodies and turn their organs into dust. If we go even one step further, players will start to dissolve on sight when they try to dunk.

-Not enough rest.

-TOO MUCH rest!

-Problems at home with family often manifest physically, and being a traveling professional athlete can be hard for a husband and wife.

-Subtle tissue and organ harvesting is being performed by teams. The organs are sold on the black market as “Athlete super parts” and are installed in the bodies of billionaires. (I think Cuban actually admitted this one.)

-Charter planes are too relaxing. The stress of commercial flight kept teams’ organs nice and tight in the old days.

-Players are mixing gunpowder into their drinks because they surreptitiously believe that it will make them more explosive, and it’s making their bodies brittle.

-Gunpower smoothies actually DO make players too explosive, and that explosiveness is too much for anyone’s fragile body parts. If we could learn to fortify their bones with steel, gunpowder athletes would do amazing things, like jumping onto small mountains. And that’s why I think the Sharks should invest in my company, SteelBone Solutions, Inc. MARC CUBAN: I am definitely interested. Tell me, do you have a gunpowder mine, or access to a gunpowder mine? ME: You know, Marc, it's funny you say that, because I have a guy on the line for it right now, but I can't make the purchase without this seed capital.

-Sports are staged, and injures are part of the drama. No one gets injured that often, don’t be a dummy. Can’t you see the Potemkin Village we’re all living in?????

-We don’t really know anything about the body, and every injury has a special reason that we could never truly parse out.

-Random quantum explosions at the subatomic level.

-Moral failings manifesting in bodies. (There is Biblical evidence to support this.)

-There is a pool of energy in the world that everyone draws from. Professional athletes draw from the pool more deeply than normal people. As more and more new players draw from this pool, other players get less. Without this energy, they get injured. IF we could figure out a way to get rid of some “Normal people” there would be enough energy in the pool that there would never be another professional sports injury ever again. Unfortunately, “Big Science” and “The University System” is opposed to the research that will prove my theories beyond a shadow of a doubt! Fortunately, for you, a sports fan, you can help. Just Paypal your donation to It’s tax deductable in SEVERAL countries, including Mongolia, Turkmenistan, and parts of Alabama! Once again, PayPal your donation to for a tomorrow with no more pro sports injuries!

-Players are having too much sex.

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