THE BISCUTBAL ATLANTA HAWKS TRIVIA PREVIEW, 2014-15!
WELCOME AND GOOD DAY, I’M AL HORFORD
AND I’M MIKE BUDENHOLZER
And this, is the ATLANTA HAWKS TRIVIA CHALLENGE!
Tell the people what they could win, Mike:
Well Al, our winner today will be the PROUD RECIPIENT of A BOX OF JOSH SMITH HAWKS JERSEYS we found in a STORAGE LOCKER MERIWETHER, GA!
The best prize yet, Coach Bud!
Haha, yes, absolutely!
QUESTION ONE:
WHAT WAS THE HAWKS WINNINGEST SEASON IN ATLANTA?
- 1993-94
- 1979-80
- 1968-69
- 1986-87
ANSWER:
It was A. and D. If you thought it was just one, you were wrong. I didn’t say it was just one answer. Life isn’t a game, sometimes there is more than one solution to a problem. If you didnt answer this right, you already don’t get the box of jerseys. No one said this would be easy.
QUESTION TWO:
WHO IS THE HAWKS ALL TIME LEADER IN BLOCKED SHOTS?
- Josh Smith
- Tree Rollins
- Dikembe Mutombo
- Theo Ratliff
ANSWER:
Tree Rollins. You thought it was Mutombo, didn’t you? You would. Going for the name player, you always pick the name player. He didn’t even have as many blocks as an Atlanta Hawks as Josh Smith. Every player from the nineties was overrated. THe talent pool was diluted by expansion and not restocked by European migration yet. I mean, seriously. You just KNEW it was Mutumbo, I’ll bet, without even thinking, “Oh, shit, this guy’s name was TREE, I’ll bet it was him.” They didn’t call him “Tree” because he COULDN’T block shots! Imagine if you played basketball against an actual tree: You would basically live to get stuffed. That was what Tree Rollins was like. Stuff happened before 1992. But you didn’t know that, and it cost you a boxfull of Josh Smith jerseys.
QUESTION THREE:
WHO IS THE HAWKS ALL TIME LEADER IN THREE POINT PERCENTAGE?
- Kyle Korver
ANSWER
I’m not even coming up with more options on this one. Too easy. Second is Willie Green.
QUESTION FOUR
WHO WAS THE HAWKS SCORING LEADER LAST YEAR?
- Paul Milsap
- Jeff Teague
- Al Horford
- DeMare Caroll
The answer is B. It was Jeff Teague. What? Oh, “Horford scored more points per…” yeah well I don’t care. You don’t win a race if you start out fast and then tear your tricep. You win a race if you are fast all season, then end the race with the most points. And if you said Milsap, God Have Mercy on Your Soul is a book I recommend, because you have committed a sin against Jeff Teague. Beg for Jeff’s forgiveness. Here, do it:
You know what that body language says to me? “Nahh. No forgiveness. You’re in Jeff Teague’s doghouse now. I NEED something from you for forgiveness. I NEED 20 Josh Smith jerseys, in my hands, right now, THEN I’ll forgive you. Oh, there was a way to get those jerseys and still have ten left over, but you fucked it up? Wow, that’s a real shame. Better go post up in the doghouse, because you live there now, you filthy, stinking, dog.”
(Send your answers and your address to AtlantaHawksGameShow@gmail.com . I’ll know if you’re lying, I can smell it over the internet, that’s how developed my nose for the truth is, I can smell lies in copper 300 miles away.)
No comments:
Post a Comment