(I coudn’t think of anything to write about the Celtics, so I am just reprinting something their PR People sent me. Sorry guys, this content churn is A KILLER.)
The Boston Celtics are a basketball team that plays in Boston, Massachusetts. There are players on the team. Here is a list of them:
A lot of these players were stars in NCAA Division One Basketball. Some played basketball for money in dark corners of the European continent. Many of them have already played in the NBA for a while. Two of them were one designated NBA All-Stars!
(Former designated All-Stars playing for the Boston Celtics)
Will one of the Boston Celtics become a designated All-Star player this year? You will have to watch the team and read articles about the team to find out!
The atmosphere at Boston Celtics games is going to be great. Before high leverage possessions, we play “Paradise City” by Guns and Roses. It’s an old song, but it’s a lot of fun, people really like it. If you take your kid to a game, you can introduce him to Guns and Roses, you favorite band.
You guys like, uhh, Jeff Green? Avery Bradley? Marcus Thorton? Wing players, guys who run on the wings? THe wings are the left and right parts of the floor, and the team is a bird, and the wings are like the wings of the bird. Here is a diagram:
Basketball positions are like the feathers and hollow bones of professional basketball: it is what makes the team fly.
Some people say this roster is a hodgepodge of mediocre players put together as a stalling tactic until the Celtics can sign or draft or trade for a layer to build a good team around. Normally, we, the PR Department, would say, “Hey! That’s not true!” But this we we are more into letting the audience make up their minds, sort of like the Metropolitan Opera’s and their recent production of “Death of Klinghoffer.” SEE IT. THEN DECIDE.
Anyway. We will be playing basketball this year, maybe watch it, or don’t. It’s cool, either way. You probably like watching Rondo, right? Oh, who am I kidding, he’s gonna get traded.